I Married a Blonde (Elf)
by Caleniawen
Summary: After Legolas married his beloved, she decided that it was time for him to meet her parents. 'OK' Legolas said. 'Good' Dee said. 'Let's go then?' Legolas said. 'Sure' Dee said. 'Just forgot to tell you that I'm from the future.' o_O was Legolas expression
1. Default Chapter

Title: I Married A Blonde (Elf)  
Rating: PG13  
Disclaimer: I don't own. The owning part is Tolkien something and New Line Cinema?  
Summary:After Legolas married his beloved, she decided that it was time for him to meet her parents. 'OK' Legolas said. 'Good' Dee said. 'Let's go then?' Legolas said. 'Sure' Dee said. 'Just forgot to tell you that I'm from the future.' o_O was Legolas expression. 'OK' he said after 10 minutes.  
  
Authors Note: OK.... I bet you right now are thinking.... no! not another Mary Sue story! Well, I know, I am all evil, and put in myself in the story, but this is quite different. I am married to Legolas. But.... am I happy?   
Eh.... please r&r!!! By the way.... I have nothing about blondes! They are not stupid!  
  
Chapter 1.  
  
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"Aiiiiiiii!" Legolas yelled, before he took his bow and shot atleast 10 arrows at the monster.   
"That'll show it!" he said, proud, looking at his wife.   
  
"Yes, really, honey," Divya said, shaking her head. Legolas noticed that.   
  
"That was, and, actually, still is, a car," his wife continued. "It's not even alive."   
  
"Oh."   
  
"Exactly," Dee continued. She also continued to walk along the weird road. It was a weird road. Legolas had never seen such a road before.   
  
"Aiiiiiiiii!" Legolas yelled again. A second later he pulled the bowstring on his bow, and fired.   
  
"I sure scared that monster away!" he smiled, proud. Now, atleast Dee would be proud of him? And kiss him?   
  
"I am so proud of you, honey!" Dee said cheerfully.  
  
Yay, thought Legolas. He was now, judging of his face, thinking dirty thoughts. Suddenly he noticed, that he hadn't gotten a kiss at all. He opened his eyes, and noticed that Dee now was many evil feet away from him.  
  
"Damn," he cursed.   
  
Without turning around, or stop, the girl started to talk.   
  
"I was sarcastic," he could hear her sigh. "That, was a bus."   
  
"Ofcourse it was!" Legolas said. "But, it was an evil bus!" he said, hoping she wouldn't figure out that he didn't have a clue about what a bus was.   
  
Dee just sighed.   
  
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ME: I know this was a short chapter!!! But the next one will come!!! So, please r&r! Even if you hated this story, and want to sue me for taking these minutes of your life away from you! 


	2. Chapter 2.

A/N:  
Proud to present chapter 2! I know I'm a lazy person, who doesn't update often, that or that I'm busy. Anyway, that was just the rambling of an insane person.   
  
To see the non-funky disclaimer, check last chapter.  
  
And... oh! Sorry for bad English. Englist not be my first languange, ya know!  
  
Oh.. I think I read in the reviews (btw, thank you for reviewing!!! I could ma..... um. eh. heh. heh.), that one person wanted to know about how I and Legolas got to the present time/our world. I was thinking of adding that in a later chapter, because I haven't figured it all out yet!  
  
Summary: Dee (that would be me), and her husband, the elf called Legolas, is on their way to meet Dees' parents. They haven't gotten there yet. Still walking. Sorry, but I'm just very brain dead, so this will be some kind of a somewhat boring chapter. o.0  
  
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I Married a Blonde (Elf) chapter 2.  
  
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They had walked a few hours, Legolas had shot some more arrows on every passing car they've seen, and Dee had sighed a few hundred times.   
  
"Honey!" Legolas said after a while.   
  
With his very cool, always useful good elven hearing, could hear his wife sigh for the 321st time since they had gotten to 'her world' as he put it.   
  
'She just loves my voice!' he thought happily.   
  
"Um... yeah?"  
  
"I don't have any arrows left."  
  
Dee turned around. She was happy. Probably the only good thing that had happened today. No more lies to angry, or scared drivers who wanted to know about that weird Robin Hood wannabee, and why he was shooting arrows at them when they were on their vacation with their kids.  
  
"Well. Eh. That's too bad," Dee said.  
  
Legolas, ofcourse, completely missed the sarcasm in his voice.   
  
"Maybe we should stop, and rest, darling?" he asked. "I don't like that you would walk around unprotected...."  
  
He noticed her glare. 'What have I now done?' the elven prince asked himself.   
  
Dee, as always turned around, and continued walking. Legolas had no other choice, than follow her.   
  
"Aaaaaaaah!" Dee screamed, as she suddnely found herself in a bush. "Ow!" followed by some curses that made Legolas take a step back.   
  
"Why did you do that?" she yelled, angry.   
  
She hadn't really expect that her elven husband would cover her mouth.   
  
"Monsters....what you call 'cas'" he whispered. "A lot of them.... I think they're.... I don't know. They're all going the way we came from."   
  
He uncoved her mouth.   
  
"Ugh. Cars. Yeah.... Leggy." (Legolas raised an eyebrow) "The cars have all been plotting of taking over the universe, since.... since the beginning of time! They are very clever, they don't got brains, instead they're thinking with their engines....."   
  
"That sounds awful...." Legolas said. It did. The cars would take over the universe..... if not a hero, like him, would destroy them all. And when he had saved the world, Dee would probably want to..... no, love to make love to him! After all, she was his wife.   
  
"Did I tell you that cars eat elves?" Dee said. Her husband looked terrified.   
  
"They don't eat humans, eh... . well... they kind of throw them up alive. You know, that big guy, in the red car, who yelled at me, and then wondered if I had found you in a zoo?" she continued.  
  
"Oh. I supposed you said yes, that you had found me and a zoo then!" the blond elf said. And he really hoped, and prayed to Eru that Dee wouldn't find out that he didn't know what a zoo was.  
  
"I did," she said, actually smiling. "So, if I was you, Legolas Greenleaf, I would probably watch out."   
  
Legolas tried to hid his fear, while thinking of a plan to destroy those elf eating cars. Dee just tried to remain calm, and not roll around on the ground laughing.  
  
With that the... um... lovely couple continued their journey to meet their destiny.  
  
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Me: OK.... it maybe wasn't that great, and it's maybe not going to be up for the Nobel price in litterature, but I do love reviews, so, if it's not too much, I guess you could always tell me thank you for ruining 10 minutes of your life if you want too. 


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